Say Yes To Life

Available in booklet form, with photographs, from:
Cliff and Jenny Silliman
931 S. 7th Avenue
Sequim, WA 98382

cliffsilliman@gmail.com
jennysilliman@juno.com

Write for the companion booklet to Say Yes To Life. Breastfeeding and Fertility by Jenny Silliman. Twenty keys to responsive breastfeeding to nourish and nurture your baby and for child spacing by God's design. USA Cost $6

To subscribe to Jenny’s free e-newsletter, send a blank e-mail to:
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Dedication

I dedicate this book to Christian wives with the hope that they will
say yes to life.

Introduction
by Cliff Silliman

God desires us to welcome new life, the children that He wants to give us. From a political or socio-economical standpoint, a large family is a benefit to society. The future, the strength of nations, belongs to the children. What leader of men doesn't want more followers? If Christians have large families, we will have more people to serve and glorify God.

A generation ago there was a lot of hype about overpopulation. It became common sense to have a small family. At the same time birth control became available. As a result we now have dwindling populations. In Italy, for example, a declining birth rate over the last 30 years has decreased their population by 24 million. Soon Italy will not be full of Italians, but Muslims, because they are the ones having lots of children. National Review Magazine Online quotes a prediction that states by the year 2050, Europe will be a third world continent.

In our modern society we have come to view children as a burden and a bother. Christians have fallen prey to this shortsighted and unbiblical thinking. According to a poll taken by Bill Gothard in the 1980’s at his Pastor’s Conferences, 50% of ministers have made themselves sterile by surgery. The majority of Christians use birth control to limit their families. They’ve bought into a worldly view of children. If you study God’s Word, you will discover the truth: each child is a treasure and a gift from God.

In the Scriptures, our Heavenly Father repeatedly directs us to know Him, to obey His commands and to walk in His ways. Deuteronomy 5:29, "O that there were such a heart in them, that they would fear Me, and keep all My commandments always, that it might be well with them, and their children forever." In the beginning, God commanded us to be fruitful and to multiply and subdue the earth. This command has never been taken back.

Multiplication is an amazing thing. If my 8 children, on an average, have 2 children each, in a few generations I’ll have about 60 offspring. In contrast, if our 8 children, on an average, have 4 children each, in a few generations we will have over 500 offspring. I believe our Lord would delight in 500 new citizens to populate His kingdom. God told Abraham his descendents would be so plentiful they’d be as countless as the stars. As warriors in the battle to expand God’s kingdom, we’re happy to have our quivers full of sharp arrows. (See Psalm 127:4,5) To reproduce is also a way to obey Christ’s Great Commission to go and make disciples; again, the more the better.

Couples can agree that it is God who is the Creator of all Life, that He commanded us to reproduce, and that He is to be Lord in every area of our lives. When asked, however, if they think God alone should ultimately be in control of the number and spacing of their children, the reply is negative. "God gave us common sense, after all," is often the response. The Bible does not say that God gave any such thing. Actually it says the opposite. "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8) "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death." (Proverbs 14:12)

As Christians we may be wrongly influenced (sometimes unknowingly) by friends, by family, by accepted practices in our culture, or by the enemy of our souls. Throw into the mix our fleshly desires and self-seeking natures, and we can understand why we need to diligently study God’s Word and pray for His kingdom come, His will to be done on earth. Husbands are accountable to God for their families. If any men are interested in further discussion, please e-mail me. cliffsilliman@gmail.com

We’re often asked, "Do you want more children?" We don’t know if God will give us more children or not. It is not about what we want. What does our Lord and King want for us and for the future of His people? I do know that it pleases God when a man rejoices when children sprout up all around his table and his wife is like a fruitful vine. (See Psalm 128:3) With determination, and vision for the future, I believe God wants us to expand His kingdom and say yes to life.

~*~

Say Yes To Life
by Jenny Silliman 2-14-05

Cliff and I married twenty-five years ago,
If we’d known then what we now know,
Would we have chosen to live our lives so?
Say yes to life.

God gives children to bless woman and man.
Be fruitful and multiply is God's command.
Another child will be another helping hand.
Say yes to life.

Our first child was born; I became a mother.
What an awesome career like no other.
More blessings from God, a sister, a brother!
Say yes to life.

Parents of 16, Joe and Sally Ott, so wise,
We glimpsed the godly vision in their eyes.
Children are a blessing, not burdens to despise.
Say yes to life.

This joyful family was such a pleasure.
They spoke of God's blessings beyond measure,
And said, "Welcome every child like treasure."
Say yes to life.

How can we ignore what God's Word has said?
Do not deny the one you have wed.
Do not spill or waste seed in the marriage bed.
Say yes to life.

God is the family planner, controller of birth.
How can we know what a child's life is worth?
What divine destiny might he have on earth?
Say yes to life.

God multiplies His army to defeat the foe.
More children for disciples, we're called to go,
To bring His life to this world of woe.
Say yes to life.

All born at home, so far we have eight,
Plus four, miscarried, in heaven await,
A dozen arrows for our quiver, my mate.
Say yes to life.

We birthed our Daniel, to be different and dare.
And then came Valerie, so joyful and fair.
Our next is David, beloved and rare.
Say yes to life.

God gave us our Michael, a mighty man,
And then our Joshua, to conquer the land.
Stephen came after to live out God's plan.
Say yes to life.

Our next gift was Luke, a bringer of light.
And then came Peter—what spirit and might!
We’ve birthed God's people to fight the good fight.
Say yes to life.

At age forty-seven I'm slowing down.
Our friends have grandchildren all around.
"Are these your grandkids?" folks ask us in town.
Say yes to life.

God's command to be fruitful is in effect still.
Say yes to life, and obey His sovereign will.
Allow His gifts of children the womb to fill.
Say yes to life.

Silver anniversary, silver strands of hair,
Like Sarah of the Bible, in old age I may bear.
To be pregnant now may cause many a stare.
Say yes to life.

We may miscarry again and have more pain.
Four unborn babies took an early glory train.
More compassion, more value on life, we gain.
Say yes to life.

Sometimes stress in life gives us a headache,
Or we feel overwhelmed, and we’d like a break.
We do have our struggles; we’ll not be fake.
Say yes to life.

We'd love a baby girl, and we love our little men,
But every time I get fat; it's hard to lose it then,
A closet full of clothes; nothing fits again.
Say yes to life.

Sometimes we grow weary as we run the race.
He promises to help us and give us grace.
The challenge of children makes us seek His face.
Say yes to life.

I’ll not pretend it’s easy; I might shed some tears.
Mothers have worries, but we walk by faith, not fears.
God made menopause to end childbearing years.
Say yes to life.

Mothers in the Bible, like in Proverbs 31,
How did they struggle in the race of life to run,
When the childbearing years were almost done?
Say yes to life.

We know of the Lord's mother, Mary, she
May have said to God, "You want me?"
She whispered words of wisdom, "Let it be."
Say yes to life.

The sound of music one mother did know.
Maria Von Trapp to America did go.
She conceived in old age, for she would not say "No."
Say yes to life.

We release to the Lord the steering wheel.
We’ll not listen to Satan's lies, or let him steal.
Obey God, and be an example that’s real.
Say yes to life.

Don’t take advice from man, the Bible warns.
Trust in the Lord and abide in His arms.
He keeps us in peace, not the world's alarms.
Say yes to life.

All to Jesus I surrender, I kneel at His feet.
God's way grows narrow, the cost may be steep.
My body a living sacrifice; I am His sheep.
Say yes to life.

Can't have too many arrows for the war we wage.
We might be better parents at this stage,
And enjoy children's laughter as we age.
Say yes to life.

"A large family is a blessing," said preachers of old;
In past centuries they opposed birth control.
They welcomed many little ones into the fold.
Say yes to life.

Population rates are falling everywhere.
By surgery, many are sterile and don’t care.
There's no truth to the overpopulation scare.
Say yes to life.

Conception is God's timing; it's not chance.
We are pro-life in every circumstance,
A pro-conception, procreation pro-life stance.
Say yes to life.

Don’t dwell on sacrifices; this is Satan's ploy.
Our children bring to our lives such joy;
We’ll gladly accept the gift of a girl or boy.
Say yes to life.

What a testimony—a family that serves with love,
Living letters of what life in Jesus consists of,
To pray, work, and worship, with joy from above.
Say yes to life.

To multiply His people is God's birth control plan.
A patriarch of many, a God fearing man,
Isaiah says, "With my children, here I am."
Say yes to life.

God blesses His people to greatly multiply.
Abraham had many sons, like stars in the sky.
God's people—you are one of them and so am I.
Say yes to life.

Ancestors on both sides were parents of many,
Thirteen kids and no complaints—not any!
They valued new life and had love aplenty.
Say yes to life.

If our great-grandparents said no, we wouldn't be here;
If they could say yes to life, then so can we, dear!
I can do all things through Christ, to Him I draw near.
Say yes to life.

Jump to the future, imagine if you may,
John, or maybe Anna, on graduation day,
"Thank you, my parents, I'm glad you did say:
'Say yes to life.'"

Children are a heritage from the Lord.
They'll rise up and bless us; oh, sweet reward.
They'll expand God's kingdom, the truth their sword.
Say yes to life.

May Jesus say, when it comes to our time,
"Well done, faithful servants." Oh, joy divine!
See eternal souls, like stars, yours and mine.
Say yes to life.

Twenty-five years ago I said I'd marry you.
It's Valentine's Day, and our youngest is two.
There is no question about what to do.
Say yes to life.

~*~

Our Family Planning Story

Cliff and I met at a “Jesus People” church in Northern California. We dated for a year, and after a visit to the county’s Planned Parenthood office for a supply of the pill for birth control, we got married on May 24, 1980. We lived on church property in a little cabin nestled in pine trees. I thought I’d like to have four kids, but Cliff only wanted two. He called them "rug rats" at the time. For some reason, I kept crying about the smallest things. My smart husband told me to stop taking the pill; soon he got his happy wife back. Later, I learned that the pill often will not prevent conception, but then the new life is aborted. I’m so glad I only took the pill for a couple weeks!

Artificial birth control had severe drawbacks, but we used it anyway to put off conception. It was "common sense" that it would be bad for our marriage to have a baby right away. After our first anniversary, I thought I was expecting, but when we discovered I wasn’t, we were both so disappointed we decided to go ahead and get pregnant.

In June of 1982, God blessed us with a first-born son, Daniel James Silliman. He was born at home right in our bed where he was conceived. He weighed 9 pounds 10 ounces and looked like the picture of health with soft, pink skin, fuzzy, blond hair and big, alert, blue eyes. He got a top Apgar score of 10. My husband said it didn't matter to him if we had a girl or a boy, but as soon as Danny was born Cliff ran down the hall and shouted to our empty living room, "It’s a boy!" Our baby nursed vigorously and slept right in our bed.

I heard a rumor from another mom at a La Leche League meeting that breastfeeding suppresses ovulation if you nurse at least every few hours. We did some research, found out she was right, and happily threw away the condoms.

Though other mothers got into scheduled breastfeeding, I continued to practice what I call Responsive Breastfeeding. (Write for my booklet Breastfeeding and Fertility for more information on this.) By God’s divine design, our children are normally spaced about two and a half years apart through responsive breastfeeding.

In 1987, with 3 children, we had the privilege to meet Joe and Sally Ott, parents of 16. We invited them to speak. The family sang in harmony a Scripture song from Psalm 128: "Children are a Blessing, a heritage of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is the Lord’s reward." We listened to the Ott’s incredible testimony; each of the children spoke and then they sang some more songs. Through them, Cliff and I caught the vision of a large family serving, loving, and glorifying God. We’ve read several good books on the subject. See the Reading List following for our recommendations. Despite several miscarriages and various trials and setbacks, we’ve continued to have all the children God would give.

Here’s a photograph of Cliff and I with his mom, Patricia Silliman, and our children: Daniel age 22, Valerie 20, David 18, Mike 15, Josh 12, Steve 8, Luke 5, and Peter 2. (Order a copy of book to see photographs of the Sillimans.)

Even after having eight children, however, we’ve repeatedly struggled with receiving all the children the Lord would bless us with. We’ve kept going back to the Ott’s testimony, and re-reading the Scriptures (see list of Scriptures following), to remind ourselves that God wants to multiply us, and children are an unqualified blessing. As we’ve gotten older, and now have children the same ages as our friend’s grandchildren, it has become more difficult. At one point we came close to throwing in the towel. We considered using the Billings Method of natural birth control to avoid pregnancy, and we even bought some condoms and hid them away in the back of the drawer.

After 23 years of mothering, as our youngest approached his second birthday, I thought I was returning to fertility at age 47. I entered into one of the most intense struggles with fear and selfishness. Now looking back, we can see the enemy’s attack. I broke my arm roller skating and I fell behind in every area of my life. I felt overwhelmed.

I shared my struggle with our 20 year old daughter at college and she said, "Mama, it seems like life would be easier if you threw in the towel, but it wouldn’t be because you’d have no peace." About this time, people kept asking Cliff and I, and even our children, if we were having any more children. It suddenly dawned on me one day that this wasn’t about having one more baby before my childbearing years came to a close. It was much bigger than this. We were being watched. Sometimes I look forward and then look back on my own life to get perspective. I envisioned our eight children with their spouses asking, "What did your folks do?" This renewed my courage and conviction.

Right before Valentine’s Day, my husband and I felt that conception of another child was likely. I woke up early that day and words started tumbling around in my mind. Often I sort out my thoughts in writing. Sometimes God will give me a poem. As I started writing, this poem, "Say Yes To Life," flowed out of me like a rushing river. It is born out of my struggle. Many lines are from the Scriptures. I wept and groaned in repentance in the process of writing this. We are glad to share it and pray that God uses it in other’s lives as well.

The late Joe Ott said, "I think our Lord and King is saying to those in His kingdom: 'My people, you’re not having My children.'" What is the Lord saying to you? I hear His voice saying, "Say yes to life."

~*~

Jenny's Twenty "Say Yes To Life" Scriptures

1. "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said unto them, 'Be fruitful, and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it; and take dominion.'"
Genesis 1:27, 28

2. "When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to Abram and said to him, I am Almighty God; walk before Me and be blameless. And I will make My covenant between Me and you, and will multiply you exceedingly. Then Abram fell on his face, and God talked with him saying: 'As for me behold My covenant is with you, and you shall be a father of many nations. No longer shall your name be called Abram, but your name shall be called Abraham; for I have made you a father of many nations. I will make you exceedingly fruitful; and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come from you. And I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you in their generations, for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and your descendents after you for all generations.'" Genesis 17:1-7

3. "To Abraham by myself I have sworn, says the Lord, because you have done this and have not withheld. Blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies. In your seed all nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice." Genesis 22:16-18, Hebrews 6:13-15

4. "Jacob called his sons and said, 'Joseph [which means God adds] is a fruitful bough, a fruitful bough by a well; his branches run over the wall. The archers have bitterly grieved him, shot at him and hated him. But his bow remained in strength, and the arms of his hands were made strong by the hands of the mighty God, by the God of your father Who will help you, and by the Almighty Who will bless you with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lies beneath, blessings of the breasts and of the womb. The blessings of your father have excelled the blessings of my ancestors, up to the
utmost bound of the everlasting hills. They shall be on the head of Joseph, and on the crown of him who was separate from his brothers.'" Genesis 49:1, 22-26

5. "[God's people] were fruitful, and increased abundantly, and multiplied, and waxed exceeding mighty; and the land was filled with them...God dealt well with the midwives, and the people multiplied and grew very mighty. And so it was, because the midwives feared God that He provided households for them." Exodus 1:7-9, 20 (See also Psalm 80:8-11.)

6. "These are the words which Moses spoke to all Israel, 'The Lord your God has multiplied you, and here you are today, as the stars of heaven in multitude. May the Lord God of your fathers make you a thousand times more numerous than you are, and bless you as He has promised you!'" Deuteronomy 1:10, 11

7. "Where it shall come to pass, if you hearken to these judgments, and keep, and do them, that...He will love you and bless you, and multiply you: He will also bless the fruit of your womb....You shall be blessed above all people: there shall not be male or female barren among you...." Deuteronomy: 7:12-16

8. "Now it shall come to pass, if you diligently obey the voice of the Lord your God, to observe carefully all His commandments which I command you today, that the Lord your God will set you high above all nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, because you obey the voice of the Lord your God: Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the country. Blessed shall be the fruit of your body, the produce of your ground and the increase of your herds, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flocks. Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out. The Lord will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before your face; they shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways. The Lord will command the blessing on you in your storehouses and in all to which you set your hand, and He will bless you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you. The Lord will establish you as a holy people to Himself, just as He has sworn to you, if you keep the commandments of the Lord your God and walk in His ways. Then all peoples of the earth shall see that you are called by the name of the Lord, and they shall be afraid of you. And the Lord will grant you plenty of goods, in the fruit of your body, in the increase of your livestock, and in the produce of your ground, in the land of which the Lord swore to your
fathers to give you. The Lord will open to you His good treasure, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season, and to bless all the work of your hand. You shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow." Deuteronomy 28:1-12

9. "And Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife [Hannah], and say, 'The Lord give you descendants from this woman for the loan that was given to the Lord.' ...And the Lord visited Hannah, so that she conceived and bore three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile Samuel grew before the Lord." I Samuel 2:20-21

10. "All these were the sons of Hemen the king's seer in the words of God, to exalt his horn. For God gave Heman fourteen sons and three daughters." 1 Chronicles 25:5

11. "The [eight] sons of Obed-edom were Shemaiah the firstborn, Jehozad the second, Joah [etc.]...for God blessed him." 1 Chronicles 26:4-5

12. "The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree; he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon. Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing." Psalm 92:12-14

13. "The Lord made H is people very fruitful; He made them too
numerous for their foes." Psalm 105:24

14. "Then their numbers decreased, and they were humbled by oppression, calamity, and sorrow; He who pours contempt on nobles made them wander in a trackless waste. But He lifted the needy out of their affliction and increased their families like flocks. The upright see and rejoice, but all the wicked shut their mouths." Psalm 107:39-42

15. "He makes the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 113:9

16. "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5

17. "Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord." Psalm 128:1-4

18. "In a multitude of people is a king's honor, but in the lack of people is the downfall of a prince." Proverbs 14:28

19. "Here am I, and the children the Lord has given me. " Isaiah 8:18

20. "She is your companion, and the wife of your covenant...God seeks a godly seed. Therefore take heed to the spirit and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth." Malachi 2:14, 15

~*~

Prayer
Oh God, I am sorry that I have held back from reproducing and not obeyed Your command to be fruitful and multiply. I repent of my selfishness. I repent of listening to the enemy's lies or allowing my fears or worries to influence my thinking. I repent of holding back the godly seed. I repent from thinking that You would not provide the grace, the finances, the strength, the health or ability to handle another pregnancy, another birth and/or another child. I repent of not viewing my offspring as eternal blessings and treasures from You.

Please help me surrender my whole life to You, oh Lord and King of all. Help me trust You in all things. Please give me a new vision for the sanctity of human life and for birthing and training up children as citizens for Your Kingdom. Let me be blessed amongst Your people, blessed with many children. Dear Lord Jesus, Giver of life, Author and Finisher of my faith, and my Lord and King, to You I surrender this area of my life and say yes to life. Amen.

~*~

Suggested Reading List

Above Rubies Magazine P.O. Box 681687, Franklin, TN 37068
(931) 729-9861 www.aboverubies.org Subscription by donations.
Ask about an Above Rubies retreat near you for inspiring and encouraging messages for parents from Colin and Nancy Campbell.

Be Fruitful and Multiply by Nancy Campbell, P.O. Box 681687, Franklin, TN 37068 (931) 729-9861 http://www.aboverubies.org/ Cost USA $15.40 each postpaid.

The Bible and Birth Control by Charles D. Provan, available from Above Rubies, P.O. Box 681687, Franklin, TN 37068 (931) 739-9861 www.aboverubies.org Cost USA $8.75 postpaid.

Birthing God’s Mighty Warriors by Rachel Scott, P.O. Box 1071 Windermere, FL 34786 356 pages, hardback book, E-mail: rachelmscott99@aol.com Cost USA $18.24 each postpaid.

Bonded Together Magazine by Gary & Trish Evans, P.O. Box 381, Norco, CA 92860 E-mail: gtkdz@empirenet.com By donations.

Breastfeeding and Fertility by Jenny Silliman, 931 S. 7th Avenue, Sequim, WA 98382 E-mail: jennysilliman@juno.com Cost USA $6.00 postpaid

Children: Blessing or Burden? By Ray Powell, P.O. Box 1018, Lubbock, TX 79408 Cost USA $3.50 postpaid.

A Full Quiver, Family Planning and the Lordship of Christ by Rick & Jan Hess, 7014 Chandler Acres Dr, Bellevue NE 68147 (402) 731-6654 Cost USA $10 postpaid.

Quiverful Digest E-mail discussion list, with 1,865 members, to help and encourage large families. www.quiverfull.com

Yes, They’re All Ours by Rick Boyer, 2430 Sunnymead Road, Rustberg, VA 24588 Father of 12 tells his story with humor and insight. (434) 845-8345 Request a catalog. www.thelearningparent.com E-mail: thelearningparent@aol.com Cost USA $13 postpaid.

~*~
About the Authors

Cliff and Jenny Silliman have been following the Lord Jesus for over 30 years. God has blessed them with eight children, so far. The oldest is almost 23 years old and their youngest is 2. By the grace of God, all of their children were born at home and are home schooled.

On May 24, 2005, Cliff and Jenny celebrated their silver 25th wedding anniversary. They are happy to openly share their lives in the hope that they may be a blessing and an encouragement. To serve Jesus, and know He is working through them, is one of the greatest joys of their lives.

This booklet contains the story of how they came to say yes to life.